Ever had that feeling in the pit of your stomach? You know, the one you get when you find something out or you feel like something bad is going to happen. Well yeah. I just got that.
First and foremost I just wana say "Mama ain't raise no fool" so I keep people on point and on their toes.
So have you ever started off doing something good, but you then start to linger around and end up doing something wrong and finding out something you should have never known about?
So this has happened to me more than a few few times because #1 ignorance is not always bliss and #2 I can be nosy when I want to.
I remember being sent to my mothers room to get her wallet from her pantie drawer and finding a bank card I thought never came in the mail. Or a picture I drew for my bf in her possession when it was hidden in my suitcase, or when my bf told me to change settings on his Facebook and I end up finding a message from his ex-gf. It just got me wondering, how do you handle a situation like this?
Do I act like nothing happen and let the words, thoughts, and worse-case-scenarios replay in my head, do I ignore and try to forget bout it to make it seem like it never happened? Do I approach the situation with anger to start a problem, or do I approach it nonchalantly as if I don't care but still want to know the truth? So many options but at this point the only thing I'm thinking about is all the times in my life I had to listen to my family slice him up with their hateful words, calling him trash, saying he doesn't care for me, he's just like all the rest, he only wants one thing, he's just going to use you, he's bringing me down Blah Blah BLAH!
By doesn't it suck when they seem right? When as much as you defend, he starts to do exactly what they say he would as if they're reading him like a book.
This is so upsetting, all I want to do is sleep right now but this has got me tossing and turning with a pit in my stomach. :(
So I'm probably going to threaten his life tomorrow and call it a day because I'm so done.
I'm simply through with feeling hurt, offended, sad, or depressed
because I'm suppressing how I really feel so you can be happy or
feel like you can trust me or
not feel like you have to hide things or suppress your own feelings, or
so you don't feel like you have untrustworthy, controlling, overbearing, uncontrollable gf
you can't wait to get rid of.
But Im so through with dealing with it and suppressing my true emotions, I'm letting it out.
Im so done with the games and the back and forth and immature ways.
I'm not trying to deal with big pimping boys who feel like they can do whatever they want
to who ever they want
whenever.
I'm not trying to deal with anyone who thinks they can have wifey
and a shordy on the side.
I'm trying to have a man who is satisfied that one girl
he tells ily to every night and cares about her and her feelings,
wouldn't do anything to hurt her,
doesn't need countless numbers of women or one night stands to feel like a man.
Someone who's willing to make a long distance relationship work and
wait on her forever if he has to but he won't have to
because she'll do anything to be in his arms
even if it's just for one night.
Sometimes I think I need to get my head out the clouds, quit playwriting for my fantasy manuscript when there's no actor to fit the role.
So I'm So DONE!!
First and foremost I just wana say "Mama ain't raise no fool" so I keep people on point and on their toes.
So have you ever started off doing something good, but you then start to linger around and end up doing something wrong and finding out something you should have never known about?
So this has happened to me more than a few few times because #1 ignorance is not always bliss and #2 I can be nosy when I want to.
I remember being sent to my mothers room to get her wallet from her pantie drawer and finding a bank card I thought never came in the mail. Or a picture I drew for my bf in her possession when it was hidden in my suitcase, or when my bf told me to change settings on his Facebook and I end up finding a message from his ex-gf. It just got me wondering, how do you handle a situation like this?
Do I act like nothing happen and let the words, thoughts, and worse-case-scenarios replay in my head, do I ignore and try to forget bout it to make it seem like it never happened? Do I approach the situation with anger to start a problem, or do I approach it nonchalantly as if I don't care but still want to know the truth? So many options but at this point the only thing I'm thinking about is all the times in my life I had to listen to my family slice him up with their hateful words, calling him trash, saying he doesn't care for me, he's just like all the rest, he only wants one thing, he's just going to use you, he's bringing me down Blah Blah BLAH!
By doesn't it suck when they seem right? When as much as you defend, he starts to do exactly what they say he would as if they're reading him like a book.
This is so upsetting, all I want to do is sleep right now but this has got me tossing and turning with a pit in my stomach. :(
So I'm probably going to threaten his life tomorrow and call it a day because I'm so done.
I'm simply through with feeling hurt, offended, sad, or depressed
because I'm suppressing how I really feel so you can be happy or
feel like you can trust me or
not feel like you have to hide things or suppress your own feelings, or
so you don't feel like you have untrustworthy, controlling, overbearing, uncontrollable gf
you can't wait to get rid of.
But Im so through with dealing with it and suppressing my true emotions, I'm letting it out.
Im so done with the games and the back and forth and immature ways.
I'm not trying to deal with big pimping boys who feel like they can do whatever they want
to who ever they want
whenever.
I'm not trying to deal with anyone who thinks they can have wifey
and a shordy on the side.
I'm trying to have a man who is satisfied that one girl
he tells ily to every night and cares about her and her feelings,
wouldn't do anything to hurt her,
doesn't need countless numbers of women or one night stands to feel like a man.
Someone who's willing to make a long distance relationship work and
wait on her forever if he has to but he won't have to
because she'll do anything to be in his arms
even if it's just for one night.
Sometimes I think I need to get my head out the clouds, quit playwriting for my fantasy manuscript when there's no actor to fit the role.
So I'm So DONE!!
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